Finally

The month is finally coming to an end and I am so happy about that. So as you all know I started working as a nurse again. I mentioned in my past blog that my schedule was insane to say the least. I seriously worked like 10 sixteen hour shifts with only 3 hours if that of sleep a day. That left me with no time to spend with the Cupcake and Bubba. It seriously took a huge toll on me. I was feeling super sad that I couldn't get to see my daughter for more than 15 minutes. I was feeling like I was abandoning her and I absolutely hated it. I know I was only doing it because I had to and had no choice, but doesn't mean I was happy about it. I am just glad this whole working so many hours a day is over.

A little bit about my new job. Wait....let me give you a small summary about my last nursing job. I completely hated it. Like hated it with a passion, I would get such horrible anxiety at the thought that I had to work there and once I was there my blood pressure was through the roof. Like 180/120 that's how insane it was. I was close to stroking out no joke. I had to quit because I shouldn't be working when I feel like that. So I quit and thought that nursing was going to be like that no matter where I go so it turned me off to nursing and didn't bother looking for another nursing job. Well I became a mom and I realized it was time that I got back into nursing even if I didn't like it, since I needed something better that would pay the bills. I started looking everywhere for a job with no such luck. I finally gave one of my friends a call and luckily I got an interview and hired. Now about this place, it is a psychiatric hospital. Scary huh. I always swore up and down that I would never work at one of these places. Ha! this is why you never say never.

I was scared when I got hired. I desperately needed a job so I had to take it. So glad I did. When I was in orientation I was learning about all these crazy psych meds that I was getting overwhelmed with all I needed to know. I was learning how to take down a patient if needed, how to protect myself from a patient. I was freaked out a little bit. But honestly, they have to teach you that, just for in case situations that rarely happen. They teach you so that you don't hurt the patient. I had tons of questions and the nurse doing the orientation was so sweet and helpful and gave us the trainees a clarification of what a "psych hospital" is really like. Like 95% of the world, I thought I was going to work with super crazy people, think Girl Interrupted. Patients with straight jackets, restraints, huge needles, etc. It is so sad to know that movies make psych hospitals look like that, when they are nothing like what you see in a movie. Yes you deal with mentally unstable people but it's nothing super crazy. I actually find it fascinating. I seriously want to know now what makes something go off in your brain that turns you into patients like I see at work. It really is amazing. I seriously feel like I found my niche. I feel like psych is the place for me. I never thought I would say that, but it's the truth. I seriously enjoy going to work. I don't have anxiety. The people that work there are great, and the patients are a lot of fun. I am so grateful to have gotten the opportunity. Lord had this planned all along, I know he did.

Gaining some weight. Yup, I have been up all these crazy hours and eating too so of course it's only natural that I gain weight. I gained like 2 pounds this month I can totally feel it. Now, that my work schedule is back to normal I am now starting Insanity once again and I am making it my goal to finish it no matter what it takes. I also am planning to start running. Yes, running. I have never been much of a runner but I really would like to do a 5k so it would only be right if I actually incorporated running into my daily routine or at least 3x a week. I am actually pretty excited to start. But let's see if I actually follow through.

Eating habits. I started eating chips again. Not good at all. I actually don't even crave them, it's that the Bubba packs them for me in my lunch so of course I refuse to let them go to waste. But not anymore, chips are of the past, they don't even taste as good as they used to. I am also going back to my no fast food routine since I have been all over the drive thru lately too.

Cupcake. My little sweet cupcake is such a big girl and I am loving it and hating it, it's so bittersweet. If you ask her how old she is in Spanish she responds with "Uno" which is one is Spanish. She knows where her tummy, head, eyes, and mouth are. She gives the best kisses in the world. She is totally loving ice cream. Speaking of, I am going to try and make frozen Greek yogurt pops for her soon and I will post about that. Oh I forgot to mention that about a week and half ago she was sick. She had a awful fever which I was blaming on teeth coming in which never came in. I took her to the doctor and was told she had Hand, foot and mouth disease. So that was a little scary but she is over it now. Other than that, the Cupcake is doing great. We are going to start Mommy and me class this summer as well as swim class. I of course am super excited.

We are heading out to the zoo this weekend, any other ideas on what to do?

I didn't want to leave this post without a picture so here you go. She is always sucking on her lower lip. Happy Monday!