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Wow. So that was pretty deep what I wrote yesterday. I have been holding that in for a very long time, and it felt really good to finally write it and have someone at least know what I feel. My mom and I like to paint this picture perfect relationship to others but we know very well we are far from that.

You know what I like to compare my mom to? To Farrahs mom from Teen Mom. What's crazy is that a lot of people hate Farrah because of the way she is with her mom. I actually high five her. I know you should never disrespect your parents but you hit a point where you simply don't care anymore. My mom does the same shit that Farrah's mom does to her. I on the other hand just hold in all the anger, all the words I would really like to say to her out of respect for her. And even now I will continue to do so because I want to be better than  my mom. I want to show my daughter to always respect others even if they are doing everything to hurt you.

I am the bigger person here. I will walk away being the bigger person. I believe in God. I believe that he is watching everything here on Earth. I believe that he will judge us all for our actions here on Earth. And I pray he forgives my mom for all the hurt she has caused me. I forgive my mom even though it hurts. Even though her words feel like cuts being reopened with a knife. I forgive her. I may no longer love this woman but I forgive her. Just like I forgave my dad for doing all the damage he did.

I am proud of the person I have become. I am someone to be loved. I am special to someone. It may not be my parents who think so but to Bubba, to the Cupcake, I am their world and I wouldn't have it any other way. Because I get all the love I could ever ask for from them. That's the best love and the only love I will ever want to know.