Nothing but Words Wednesday

You know that saying "When it rains, it pours"? Well that's what I found myself saying yesterday. We all had the stomach bug last week and well yesterday was just another thing to add to my list of things to worry about. My brother was experiencing chest pains.Mind you, my brother is only 23 years old. At first no one thought much of it, my mom is old school Mexican so she associated it with it being really cold in the house and him walking barefoot. Does that even make any sense? Anyways, next thing you know she takes him to Huntington Hospital just about 5 minutes away since their urgent care is never really busy. They hook him up to an EKG monitor and they see what we had never imagined...he was having a heart attack. He then gets rushed to a hospital a city over. This new hospital deals more with heart patients, that's the reasoning (so they say) why he got transferred there. They immediately did an angiogram on him. He's hooked up to all kinds of monitors and what not. During this time I had no idea what was going on. My mom calls me hysterical because all she knew was what they were telling her, which was that her son was suffering a heart attack. I of course couldn't make out anything she was saying over the phone. All I understood was Inter-community hospital and off I went. When I met up with my mom, of course she was a mess, I tried to make out what was going on. I kept asking the staff there and since he had arrived in an ambulance and everything was so "Emergency" (that's what they kept saying) they couldn't tell me what was going. They kept asking us to sign all these forms, they were all consent forms. Pretty much we were consenting to do whatever it takes to save his life. Then we had people ask if we wanted to donate his organs in case he didn't make it. Seriously?! This is something you don't want to hear. He's 23 years old for crying out loud! I know they have to ask, but it hurt so much to just hear those words. So now we wait....

While we are siting in the waiting room to hear news, my mom is still in tears. I had to stay strong so I had to think that my brother was just fine. She then started telling me how scared my brother was. And once he heard the words heart attack he couldn't help but cry. My poor brother, I am sure dying crossed his mind when he heard that. We were finally told we can see him, and the nurses that were with him were just so sweet and caring. They tried comforting my mom and my brother. They kept telling me how scared my brother was but that he's a lucky guy. The angiogram showed no clots or any blockage in his arteries. The blood work did come back abnormal twice. The doctor came in to see how he was doing as well as try to explain what happened. Basically he can't really pin point what the case of the chest pain. But he diagnosed him with Pericarditis.  That is why the EKG was showing he was having a heart attack. He said it could also be why his blood work came back abnormal. He also associated the Pericarditis with the stomach flu he had over the weekend. Overall, we are just glad my brother is okay and he will hopefully get over this Pericarditis thing he has. God was really watching over him yesterday and I am forever thankful for it. I am just glad the Cupcake has been going to be early and sleeping through the night, otherwise I would be mombie=zombie.


And a little prayer for my brother...

Dear Lord of Mercy and Father of Comfort,

You are the One I turn to for help in moments of weakness and times of need. I ask you to be with your servant in this illness. Psalm 107:20 says that you send out your Word and heal. So then, please send your healing Word to your servant. In the name of Jesus, drive out all infirmity and sickness from his body.

Dear Lord, I ask you to turn this weakness into strength, suffering into compassion, sorrow into joy, and pain into comfort for others. May your servant trust in your goodness and hope in your faithfulness, even in the middle of this suffering. Let him be filled with patience and joy in your presence as he waits for your healing touch.

Please restore your servant to full health, dear Father. Remove all fear and doubt from his heart by the power of your Holy Spirit, and may you, Lord, be glorified through his life.

As you heal and renew your servant, Lord, may he bless and praise you.

All of this I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Inspirational Wednesday #3

When it comes to hating someone well that's just not me. I have always said hate is such a strong word, I dislike but I do not hate. To hate someone you must love them first, well that's what I believe. So it will be rare when you hear me say I hate someone. Now love is also a strong word, I love a lot of people for the roles they play in mine and my daughters life. But its a word, a feeling that I don't use or feel so lightly anymore. I can say that I love my daughter with all my heart, and everyone else I love, I do love them but its a very different, simple kind of love. Now when it comes to a significant other, that I don't have the strength to love someone like they should be. I don't have the courage because, my heart has been broken so many times that it is hard for me to open up to anyone anymore. Cupcake is teaching me to love unconditionally, and in the  mean time my heart it healing but also not ready to take in anyone new, and I'm okay with that. Cupcake is all I need for now.

Inspirational Wednesday

I love this whole quote by Mr. Bob Marley. So many people expect so much in a relationship, they make plans and want certain things to go a certain way, but in love and in life you cant plan and you cant expect; you just have to sit there and wait to see what happens. Life is like a roller coaster, drops, turns, and straight aheads along the way.
One thing I learned from my previous relationship was that, I loved him and even though it hurt to let go I know I will find someone else to love again. That's the beauty of love its endless. He let me go because he expected so much from me, because I didn't do what "girlfriends" should do. I wasn't aware that there was a book on what "girlfriends" should be expected to do in a relationship, I figured all you had to do was be you. Being you was what got you the title of girlfriend in the first place right? I thought that if i can put a smile on his face once in a great while, or make him laugh, make him feel adored here and there, kissed him held his hand. That would be more than enough, but he wanted the cooking the romantic stuff. Well I wanted that too. I'm the girl, did he ask himself when was the last time he did the romantic stuff for me? I'm not perfect and neither is he but I took him as he was, he just couldn't do that with me. I did give him my heart and well he ran off with it.

Inspirational Wednesday

   I find that this quote hits home. I am not perfect, I am far from it, I make tons of mistakes and there's a lot of things I wish I hadn't done in the past but I also believe that everything you do in life is a lesson learned. I don't regret anything I have done though only because my past experiences have made me who I am today.
   A lot of people are always looking for Mr/Mrs Perfect, I on the other hand are just looking for someone who I can relate to a little and just takes me as I am, doesn't expect me to be some perfect housewife, mother, etc. Because I wouldn't expect someone to be perfect in any way. I want to grow old with someone, but learn about each other, take in our faults and learn to deal with them for a lack of a better word. I don't want to demand anything just want someone who understands me and puts me and my daughter 1st. I want that someone to understand that even though my daughter comes 1st in my life that person will be right behind her and I will dedicate and love them as much as I can. I want to give all that I can. Cupcake has thought me what the meaning of love is, she has thought me that sometimes you don't always get what you want, you cant expect so much, just wait and be grateful for the moments of happiness you get even if they do last a second, because its those precious moments that you will always look back on.