Invincible

In the past year I re-learned a lot of things that I have forgotten now as a adult. My kid keeps teaching me to remember that there is more time than there is life.

This past year I have watched my daughter grow from a baby to a toddler. She has reminded me of the purity, innocence that we as adults once had. Seriously, kids think they are invincible. I love watching my daughter run, run because it's fun. Run because a goblin aka me is after her. Run because it's freedom. I love watching her walk through plants and picking flowers. She enjoys flowers not because they mean I love you or I'm sorry or even happy anniversary. But she loves them simply because they are colorful and because she loves to smell them. The scary part is when she walks by flowers that have bees on then. She loves to point and get a closer look at the bees. I'm always the ugly green giant warning her to stay away.

You see little by little we are the ones that take away that innocence. We tell the. Of what is ugly, what is dangerous and what is shameful. We teach them to forget what it's like to be invincible.

I don't really have a direction to where I want to go on this post. I guess I really just wanted to remind myself and maybe others to stop being an adult for mate 10 mins and run. Run not because you're trying to lose weight or trying to make a time. Run because it's fun, run because a ugly Green goblin is after you. Stop and enjoy the work of the honey bee. Don't be afraid. Smell the flowers because believe it or not, a good whiff of them will bring a smile to your face.

Let things remind you to stop and enjoy life because like I said before there's more time than life. Everything else can wait.

Super Mom

Written Oct. 26, 2012

I don't want to go and toot my horn but...

Beep beep!! 

I was reading over another blogger's post on the many hats she wears and it got me thinking about my daily routine and sometimes lack thereof. Before the Cupcake was born, I was a young, single gal who if I wanted to just lounge all day in pajamas I could. I didn't have a care in the world and hardly had any responsibility.

Fast forward to now, and I sit here wondering why there isn't enough hours in the day to complete the cagillion things I need to get done around here.

Take today for example, after work (4:30pm) I have to go pick up the Cupcake and then we are off  to  get mamas eyebrows groomed because it looks like i have a huge raccoon sitting where my eyebrows are. Then I have to go to the small grocery store for the small stuff then to Sam's club for chicken, milk, eggs, etc.   Go home since it's not that far from my house, drop that off. Then go to grandma Suz's house, pick  her  up drive to costco and shop for the rest of the stuff I need. Drive home unload, put away groceries. Then   pack    our bags for tomorrow since I work tonight 11-7am. I have to pack costume for tomorrow halloween party    at Mommy and me. I also have to pack my item and candy for the potluck. I also have to pack an extra change of clothes for the doctor's appointment Cupcake has with her Pedi at 3pm. Then   I   have   to  give  her    bath before I have to get ready to go to work. Did I forget to mention I still have to cook dinner!!! 

phew! that sounded like a jam packed evening right? That's what my evenings sort of look like 4-5 days a week. Just take out the shopping and add any other chore that needs to get done around here.

So like I said, I feel like super mom. I like my title, I wouldn't change my super insane life for anything in the world. As long as my kiddo is happy, I am happy. 

Now I am off to make myself a cape!

New Home

I know I have mentioned before that I had been looking for a place. I hadn't seen anything that I liked til this past weekend. It was only a last minute, let me go check it out just because I am bored. It's about 15 mins from where I live now which isn't too bad. While I was driving over there I couldn't help but  notice that I was driving into the nice side of the city. The side where the buildings are old, historic and very beautiful. The neighborhood is filled with tall fluffy trees. Seriously, shit looked straight out of a movie.

Anyways, as I walked inside I immediately fell in love. I instantly felt like I was home. I hadn't felt like that with all the other places I had seen. It's not big by any means but it's the perfect size for my family. It has everything that I had on my checklist of amenities. I have a garage to park  my car, I have a washer and dryer upstairs so I don't have to lug my laundry up and down the stairs. I have a walk in closet and as a plus I have spa bath tub. I gotta say it's perfect.

I am so glad I went to see it. So glad that it's all mine. I'm looking forward to making it my own with my personal touches. I look forward to morning happy dances, movie watching, pie baking, dinner parties, and much more. I can't wait to build wonderful memories in our  new home.

Now who wants to help me pack?

Anyone?

Life lately

Turtle walking, Lady bug sitting, messy Popsicle licking, snail watching, jersey wearing sunday.

I work tonight...le sigh.

The good ol days

Gawd...I'm siting here reminiscing about all the fun times with my friends. You know, getting wasted... partying....clubbing. I go on instagram and Facebook and see everyone checking in at this bar and that bar. Dancing it up at this club and at that club. Let me tell you...I'm a really fun drunk. Ask any of my friends, I do know how to have a good time. I would be lying to you if I said I didn't miss it. Because I obviously do. I miss the getting ready, you know making sure your hair is perfect, your makeup is on point and your outfit...too die for. I miss that. I miss my me time.

Ever since having the cupcake it's rare when I go out. I spend my time having movie night with the family or at Disneyland and sometimes at some friends house having family bbqs. And I have to say that I enjoy having these moments with my family. These are moments I will remember. I'm the most happiest when my hair is in a bun, I'm wearing basketball shorts and I have no makeup on. I am happiest when I'm wrestling on the floor with my kiddo.

So as I sit here thinking about the going out stage in my life, I have a smile on my face because I'm content. I'm happy no longer spending every Friday and Saturday night going out.I'm content with laughing my butt off hearing my kiddo scream with excitement when I'm chasing after her. I'm content when I see that smile that contiguous smile that my kid gives me when I'm playing with her. See nothing can top that. And even though I do miss it, I'm glad that I got to do all the things I did with no regrets. I can truly say that I lived that stage of my life up and I'm past it.

And as I sit here finishing up this post I'm thinking maybe just maybe I'm not content with having just the cupcake around. Maybe just maybe I need one more munchkin to chase after. :-)

Happy Monday!

Tomboy

When I was pregnant with the Cupcake, I had envisioned a life with girly sparkly things everywhere. Dolls and teddy's galore. I envisioned pretty pretty princess and Barbie and Molly pockets. See that's all the stuff I liked when I was a kid. I hardly if ever played with my brother and his boy toys. I always looked presentable. My hair always had a bow and the pleats on my skirts were perfect. So I always ASSUMED my kid would be the exact same way.

WRONG!

I mean this could be because she is only 18 months. She does only play with boys. She does like to explore with her hair all wild and free.

But come on. First thing that comes to mind when I see my kid after 2 mins of being primmed and prepped is UGH! why are you such a tomboy! Because yes folks, after 2 mins my kid looks like a tornado hit her in the face. And every.sinlge.freaking.time I am telling myself she really needs more girlfriends.

I am not asking for much am I?

Is it too much to ask that for once that she stay cleaned and polished for a whole 30 mins at least???

GAWWWWWD! I seriously want to rip my hair out every time...EVERY TIME!

2 MINS LATER...

It has to be a phase right...RIGHT?!

Life lately...

It was a long weekend on our end and it started on Thursday. We headed out once again to Disneyland with Faby, her sister and Isra. It was so hot! This was the first time I had ridden a roller coaster in a very long time. It was so much fun, seriously my heart was going to come out of my chest. Also, we had never gotten on Toy Story because the wait time for the ride has always said 40 mins. Honestly, I don't think anyone has changed the wait time on that thing ever. We were in in about 15 mins. Let me just say...Toy story the ride was awesome sauce. We wanted to go in it again but we were short on time. It's a 3D ride so you have to wear those awesome shades....

Do you think she was happy about it??

Friday, one of the customers at my job gave me 4 tickets to the Dodger v. Diamondbacks game. He said they aren't great seats but we actually didn't mind the seats. We could see everything perfectly. Before the game though, my sister sent over a cute Hello Kitty purse that my kiddo could have. She is such a girly girl..NOT!

I swear this kid makes the funniest faces.

I invited my little brother to the game. He had a good time and we got to spend quality time together.

This weekend since it was hot we headed out to Chino. Bubba's sister invited us over for lunch and some swim time.

My little princess ready for fun in the sun.

Just cruising in the pool on her whale.

She also had her own zebra pool for just in case she didnt want to get in the pool but from the previous picture it was a success.

Totally pooped!

It's Tuesday and I have a serious case of the Monday's

Never too early

If ya'll didn't know by now that I my friends, love me a pair of heels

you all don't know me then.

But you wanna know something funny...

I can't walk in them for shit.

I still loves me some hooker heels though.

My mom never really let me play with her stuff when I was little,

and now that I have a daughter I figured I should let her enjoy being a girly girl.

If she ever wants to walk fabulously in 6in heels she's gotta start training now.

(these are very small heels...she's gotta start small. Am I right?)

 

She is going to make me very proud.

This is really happening

I told myself in the begininng of the year that this would be the last year I worked at my day job. It is not because I loathe my bosses, it is because I still make what I make when I first got hired 5 years ago. It is because even though there is no money to pay me vacation time, holiday pay, sick pay or give me a raise my boss still manages to drive the latest and greatest Mercedes vehicle. Oh and his wife has a machine car too.

Besides I can't move up in this company. I'm pretty much stuck in this position forever if I stay here. Even though I love getting payed to sit on my ass and blog all day long or read up on all the latest celebrity gossip, it is my time to go. The end of October is my last day here. I am saddened yet super excited.

I finally get to spend more time with my growing toddler. Which today marks her 18 month birthday. Gosh in 6 months she will be 2 freakin years old!!!!! I feel like because of this morning job which I did need, I missed out on a lot of the Cupcakes life. 9 hours of her day where spent with someone who wasn't me. I hated that when I first left her but as time went on I started being okay with it because I had to. We need mommy to work so we can buy all the things we need.

Now I will still be working my nursing job at night, and probably working more often there now, but that's okay because I will be able to spend more time with my daughter.

All I know right now is that, the last day here will be like a breath of fresh air.

Life lately

I haven't really been taking any pictures lately. It's not that nothing exciting or fun is going on, I just have been enjoying the moments with this kid that I forget all about "capturing the moment".

Miss Sassy Pants

Momma, do I look like a star?

Trying to run away from me at Target

Enjoying the much nicer weather with friends.

We've gone to Disneyland twice this week but no pictures not even one. I finally bought a passport so we can go whenever we want. It's so nice not worrying about having to cover a whole theme park in like 12 hours or less. Now we can actually enjoy all of the happiest place on earth.

Anxiety

It has set in.
I am petrified.
I mean, I want this.
I have wanted this.
Why am I freaking out right now?

I finally sent in my deposit for surgery. And I can't help but feel claustrophobic in this huge warehouse I call an office. I mean I was, am super excited for this but it just didn't feel real til the moment I gave Diane (consultant) my credit card information. But now, now it feels real. In about a month and a half I will look different. I will feel different. I will have what I have always wanted. So why this anxiety?

Dude!!!!

I guess it's because it's major surgery. I am altering my body. I am trusting another person to keep me safe and I mean who wouldn't be scared. I am not having doubts, I don't think. But you know my life is a little more complicated now. I have a daughter, a daughter whom i love more than life itself. My kid needs me as much as I need her. I'm not saying I am going to die, but dang you start thinking about all the worst case scenarios. At least I do. And then I have the...God made your body the way he intended it to be. You shouldn't alter it. But the Lord knows how much this means to me. I just pray he keeps me safe. Always.

Gosh guys, either time is going to drag or its going to fly....I'm hoping it drags honestly because I.am.scared.shitless.

Life lately

1. Sleeping baby after a long morning of breaking out new toys. 2. Hiked my butt all the way to the top of the Garcia Trail to the cross. 2 & 3. You wouldn't have thought we were in the E.R. because the Cupcake was having a hard time breathing. She looks normal doesn't she. 4. I made Faby do the hike with me of course. 5. Faby bought the Cupcake her first baby, can you tell she doesn't want to let go. 6. OC Fair bound 7. Relaxing Sunday 

Happy Monday Everyone!

Beach bound

Summer is almost over and I had not once thought about hitting up the beaches. What the heck is wrong with me? So I asked Faby if she would like to take the kids, you  know have them build castles and what not, she thought it would be a great idea. We packed our bags and the kids and loaded up  my car and off to the beach we went.

Let me just tell you, having two toddlers is not the easiest thing. Baby fever completely gone after this trip. The kids were already grouchy because it was a long drive to the beach. An hour long drive is not fun. We unpack and start to walk which is followed by crying kids who want to be picked up because they refuse to walk in the sand. So we were carrying bags, an umbrella, blankets, and now two kids. Ay caramba. When we finally settled on a spot the refused to move.

They played in the sand but they were not all super giddy like those kids you see in movies or in pictures. I don't think they are fans of the sand and breeze.

Well it was a good day though eve in we did drive two hours roundtrip to only spend an hour at the beach.

Who wears short shorts?? this girl down here lol

My torta, don't judge. It was so good.

Sugar maniac

Hi, I am Eve and I am a sugarholic.
A lot of my friends and family know how much I love me some sugar. It can come in all forms, ice cream, chocolate, roll ups, etc I am all about the sugar. And guess what folks?!

SUGAR IS BAD FOR YOU!

I am sure most of you already knew that. I know it,  but I can't seem to lay off of the sugary goodness. My weight has been creeping back up again because of this obsession I have with sugar. My obsession with simple carbs is just as bad. Anyways, lets get to the point of this sugar story. My friend and I decided to do the 21 day Sugar detox diet. It's very similar to the Paleo diet but it only lasts 21 days. We are cutting off dairy, bread and pastas, fruits and anything else that contains sugar. Max sugar we are going to eat a day is 10 grams and that's pushing it. 

All I can say is that I am super excited to finally do something about this sweet tooth of mine. I read that the first couple of days are going to be tough because your body goes through the withdrawal process like a normal addict would. So it's going to suck bad. I'm sure I am going to be super grouchy, annoyed and angry and all that but I know I will get over it. My friend is just as excited to this as me, since we aren't really looking to lose weight  but reset the way we eat.

I can't wait to share my experience with everyone and maybe motivate others to try it.

Wish my luck!

Another moment.

This weekend was just terrible, awful, you name it. I am a night shift nurse at a psychiatric facility as you all know, and I love my job believe it or not. And like everyone else, I try my hardest to leave work, well at work. But this weekend was different. This weekend every night I worked was plain awful. The patients, needy, aggressive and very psychotic. It was so chaotic that I made an error. I know we aren't machines and that we make mistakes but in my field, there isn't room for mistake. You have to be precise with everything you do because it is like they say, life and death.

I am very lucky that nothing serious happened but the fact that I made a mistake and I am going to hear about it in the coming week, well, I am super nervous ans scared. I love my job and like everyone else, I need my job. So here is hoping for the best. But my awful weekend doesn't end there.

You know, I always said I wouldn't be that mom that lets the t.v. become my kids babysitter. I always said I wouldn't feed my kid a load of junk food. Guess what....I have become that mother. I AM A FAILURE. Or at least I feel like one. I feel like I have let my daughter down. Instead of doing what is best for her, I have done what is best for me, what works for me, what is convenient for me. That is not being a good parent. When I came to realization of this, this weekend I couldn't help but break down and cry. I have failed my daughter. I let her watch countless hours of nemo and rio because that's what she has gotten use to. I let her eat chocolate and ice cream and has not had a bite of vegetables because I know she wont eat them anyway. I have taught her bad habits and I feel terrible about that. I sat and cried for what seemed like hours. I was really having a bad weekend.

But it ends today. I have to remember that work is work and it isn't always going to go as plan. I work with unpredictable patients and I have to just roll with the punches. I have to remember to slow down and make sure that I am always on point with my work no matter what the situation is. And with the issues concerning My daughter, well, she will be allowed an hour max of tv during the day and that is it. While I am home with her we will focus on playing, drawing, painting, anything, as long as she is using her hands and brain. No more chicken nuggets and nutella sandwiches because she refuses to eat a nutritious meal. I am now going to meal plan each week and make good healthy food for the both of us to eat and if she doesn't like what I have to offer...too bad. She will learn to like the foods that are good for her. No more letting her be the parent. So I have to brush myself off and continue trucking because this is life. I am not perfect, I know I love my kid and I will do what is best for her and even though I wasn't doing just that for a while I am back to doing so.

Keep calm and carry on.

Life lately

1. She has learned how to take pictures of herself. 2. Say "Cheeeeese!" 3. Crouch like a tiger 4. Momma say hi to the camera 5. After I took her toothbrush away and gave it back 6. playing with her daddy 7. Mad first thing in the morning. 8. Never a good picture with kid 9. Same as eight 10. well hello there double chin. 11. Alfalfa taking a bath in Grandma Susans old tub.

If you knew me...

I have seen several blogs and Instagrammers do this, so I thought I would give it a go as well...

1. I am obsessed with boobs (in the non gay way) You know how in the movie Superbad Seth draws dicks like all the time and he couldn't help it, He wasn't gay but was obsessed with the penis, well, it's sort of like that. And because I don't have a huge rack myself I will be buying those puppies this year. Hopefully it solves my boob obsession. Creeped out yet ha!
2. I blow my nose really loud. It sounds like I am playing a tuba loud. I could be quieter but something about blowing my nose loud...I don't know.
3. I pee in the shower all the time. I could be almost peeing in my pants but if I know I am going to shower in the next 10 minutes, I will hold it and release once I step in. 
4. I have a gonk eye, or at least that's what I call it. It's when one eye is bigger than the other. In some pictures of me it's really noticeable and in others you really can't tell. I am really self conscious about it. 
5. I hate peanut butter but I eat it. It's not the consistency that bugs me, it's the smell and taste of it. It skeeves me but I will eat it when there is absolutely nothing else to eat in my house. On that note, I love Ritz crackers with peanut butter. 
6. I hate driving on the freeway. Everyone that knows me knows that. It's my biggest fear...well it's a tie between that and my fear of spiders.

So I ask Panda (yes I call the Bubba Panda also) if he can shoot me some ideas and this is what he came up with...

So there you go...did I lose you as a friend yet? or did I just become a creep in your book?

xoxo,
Eve

Life lately

Bathing suits and pool fun or lack there of....boredom at work, cupcake sporting the tomb boy look, spending time with daddy, shopping....speaking lots of time with mama and giggles.

Dandelions and Butterflies

I always wanted to get a tattoo but never wanted to get a tattoo if that makes any sense. First, because I was always afraid it was going to hurt like hell. Second, because I didn't want to ink up my body. Third, because I never knew what to get. Also tattoos aren't cheap. The Bubba's cousin has his whole arm done and his girlfriend also. Her tattoos look great and she referred us to the gentleman working on my side in the above picture. He has his own little studio in his house. Everything was super clean and he was very professional when we went to meet with him. His pricing is good because he doesn't have to pay rent at some tattoo shop. 

Before I got mine, the Bubba got  his chest piece done. I figured if I liked it then I would "think" about getting one. I ended up loving the Bubba's tattoo and set up an appointment to get my tattoo done 2 weeks later. I ended up going with two of my girlfriends. The day of the appointment I had worked at both my jobs so I had barely any sleep if at all and I also hadn't ate. Probably not the best thing but oh well, too late to turn back now. When I got there I was nervous because come on, tattoos are permanent. So I was close to just saying screw it, I don't want to do this anymore. But I sat on that chair like a champ and got inked. I'm not going to lie, I almost passed out within the first 15 minutes of getting it done. Not because it hurt but because the lack of food, sleep, energy and overall excitement. I ended up eating a little bit and I felt a lot better. 

Getting the actual tattoo didn't really hurt. People were telling me that the side (ribcage) is the most sensitive area therefore, the worst place to get a tattoo because it will hurt like hell. It honestly felt more like annoying pain than actual ouch it hurts, help me pain. I actually now want to do my other side.Watch me get all tatted up ha!

Now on to what I got. I chose to get a dandelion and a butterfly on my ribcage area. 

why?

The dandelion represents my wish. I wished for a beautiful and healthy baby girl. The Butterfly, my daughter. When I think of my daughter I think of pretty butterflies and vice versa. Why on the ribcage?

Have you ever heard of how Eve was made from Adam's rib??

Same concept.

Do I love the tattoo?

Of course. 

Do I want more?

Definitely.

Gangsta Bitches! 

haha!

Making time for us

Sometimes it feels like there is never enough time for you to spend with your loved ones. I have 2 jobs not counting being a mom. I like to spend most of my free time playing with the Cupcake. Giving her as much attention as I possibly can. Unfortunately, that kind of leaves Bubba in the dark. We try really hard to squeeze in a few minutes here and there for kisses, hugs, spanks, and what nots. But I tell you it's hard, very very hard.

I am so lucky to have such a great partner. He really does understand that it's hard being a parent. He does so much for us that he too just goes with the flow and tries to just give everything he has in regards to time to the Cupcake. So it's nice that we are on the same page there. But we miss "us". We miss getting to go out just "us" with no Cupcake, no sippy cups, no diapers, no cranky screaming baby in the car seat.

Lately we have really been lacking in that department. Now, you might think we don't go out because we have no money or we don't have a babysitter. But honestly, we have both, we just prefer to spend our us time all together as a family.We rarely want to give "us" that time to just enjoy ourselves sans baby.

So...we decided we needed to go out just the two of us. The movie Ted was already in theaters and that's one movie we both wanted to go see. So we made it a date. We went to dinner and Bubbae couldn't have picked a better place. We went to Benihana for dinner. I am not a big fan of Chinese/Japanese food but this place sounded good that day. I am never satisfied when I go there but that night everything was perfect.

What I enjoy about dining there is the little show the cooks do while they are preparing your food. This cook made an egg man. I thought that was pretty cool.

This is us waiting on dinner. Can you tell we are excited!!!

 (Don't mind the xmas lights...Bubba's dad refuses to take them down who knows why)

Before we took off on our date. I felt taller than him even though he swears I wasn't and he was right. Even though I am wearing 5 inch wedges. By the way I absolutely love these shoes. If you are wondering where they are from, they are from GUESS. I got them on sale about 5 months ago for $30.