Finally

The month is finally coming to an end and I am so happy about that. So as you all know I started working as a nurse again. I mentioned in my past blog that my schedule was insane to say the least. I seriously worked like 10 sixteen hour shifts with only 3 hours if that of sleep a day. That left me with no time to spend with the Cupcake and Bubba. It seriously took a huge toll on me. I was feeling super sad that I couldn't get to see my daughter for more than 15 minutes. I was feeling like I was abandoning her and I absolutely hated it. I know I was only doing it because I had to and had no choice, but doesn't mean I was happy about it. I am just glad this whole working so many hours a day is over.

A little bit about my new job. Wait....let me give you a small summary about my last nursing job. I completely hated it. Like hated it with a passion, I would get such horrible anxiety at the thought that I had to work there and once I was there my blood pressure was through the roof. Like 180/120 that's how insane it was. I was close to stroking out no joke. I had to quit because I shouldn't be working when I feel like that. So I quit and thought that nursing was going to be like that no matter where I go so it turned me off to nursing and didn't bother looking for another nursing job. Well I became a mom and I realized it was time that I got back into nursing even if I didn't like it, since I needed something better that would pay the bills. I started looking everywhere for a job with no such luck. I finally gave one of my friends a call and luckily I got an interview and hired. Now about this place, it is a psychiatric hospital. Scary huh. I always swore up and down that I would never work at one of these places. Ha! this is why you never say never.

I was scared when I got hired. I desperately needed a job so I had to take it. So glad I did. When I was in orientation I was learning about all these crazy psych meds that I was getting overwhelmed with all I needed to know. I was learning how to take down a patient if needed, how to protect myself from a patient. I was freaked out a little bit. But honestly, they have to teach you that, just for in case situations that rarely happen. They teach you so that you don't hurt the patient. I had tons of questions and the nurse doing the orientation was so sweet and helpful and gave us the trainees a clarification of what a "psych hospital" is really like. Like 95% of the world, I thought I was going to work with super crazy people, think Girl Interrupted. Patients with straight jackets, restraints, huge needles, etc. It is so sad to know that movies make psych hospitals look like that, when they are nothing like what you see in a movie. Yes you deal with mentally unstable people but it's nothing super crazy. I actually find it fascinating. I seriously want to know now what makes something go off in your brain that turns you into patients like I see at work. It really is amazing. I seriously feel like I found my niche. I feel like psych is the place for me. I never thought I would say that, but it's the truth. I seriously enjoy going to work. I don't have anxiety. The people that work there are great, and the patients are a lot of fun. I am so grateful to have gotten the opportunity. Lord had this planned all along, I know he did.

Gaining some weight. Yup, I have been up all these crazy hours and eating too so of course it's only natural that I gain weight. I gained like 2 pounds this month I can totally feel it. Now, that my work schedule is back to normal I am now starting Insanity once again and I am making it my goal to finish it no matter what it takes. I also am planning to start running. Yes, running. I have never been much of a runner but I really would like to do a 5k so it would only be right if I actually incorporated running into my daily routine or at least 3x a week. I am actually pretty excited to start. But let's see if I actually follow through.

Eating habits. I started eating chips again. Not good at all. I actually don't even crave them, it's that the Bubba packs them for me in my lunch so of course I refuse to let them go to waste. But not anymore, chips are of the past, they don't even taste as good as they used to. I am also going back to my no fast food routine since I have been all over the drive thru lately too.

Cupcake. My little sweet cupcake is such a big girl and I am loving it and hating it, it's so bittersweet. If you ask her how old she is in Spanish she responds with "Uno" which is one is Spanish. She knows where her tummy, head, eyes, and mouth are. She gives the best kisses in the world. She is totally loving ice cream. Speaking of, I am going to try and make frozen Greek yogurt pops for her soon and I will post about that. Oh I forgot to mention that about a week and half ago she was sick. She had a awful fever which I was blaming on teeth coming in which never came in. I took her to the doctor and was told she had Hand, foot and mouth disease. So that was a little scary but she is over it now. Other than that, the Cupcake is doing great. We are going to start Mommy and me class this summer as well as swim class. I of course am super excited.

We are heading out to the zoo this weekend, any other ideas on what to do?

I didn't want to leave this post without a picture so here you go. She is always sucking on her lower lip. Happy Monday!

Vlog, upcoming posts, and exercise update

It's raining outside and it looks awesome. I seriously wish that at this moment I was outside running in the rain. I have always wanted to do that...must add to Bucket list. Anyways, so tomorrow I have another day of orientation at my new job. It's NCI  training, it has to deal with protecting yourself and the patient. It's a full 8 hour day tomorrow, YAY, NOT!

Tomorrow I also have to finish packing, which means I will be posting the What to Pack when going on Vacation with a toddler post. Honestly, I had pictured mountains and mountains of stuff I was going to have to pack but it looked nothing like that :)
I will also be posting an OOTD for what I will be wearing to work tomorrow as well as an OOTD for what the Cupcake and myself will be wearing to airport.

I also was thinking of vlogging about our trip and not just doing pictures. I mean pictures are great but I think it will be fun to see in a video what we are going to be doing in the airport, on the island, etc. If you think it is lame, too bad this is what I really want to do. But yea that's about it on the upcoming posts.

Now to my exercise update. I have not worked out in like 3 weeks now it seems like. I have gone hiking and on walks here and there but I had to put down the Insanity DVD's because of my dumb ankles. I was suppose to re start it this week but found that to be pointless since next week I will be on vacation and wont have the time to workout. So once I am back home I promise I will start all over again. I seriously want to sport a two piece again. Oh! I bought these super cute retro bikini bottoms from American Apparel. The retro look is so in this year, I can't wait to show you guys my swim suit.  2 more days...

Target run

This 90,91 and 92.We went to Target last night to pick up some stuff for the house. I also took advantage of their $20 slacks deal. Since I am starting a new job pretty soon that requires me to wear business casual clothes, which I don't have, I had to go pick some pants up. I also picked up some face wipes which I will be reviewing soon.

We had a good time at the store. It sucks because Target really makes you spend money. I went in hoping to spend at the most $60 dollars, I walked out with and spent $100. Smack myself on the forehead hard for this one.

So my blog is getting pretty boring AGAIN haha so I am going to spice it up with some of my favorite things.

In April this is what I will be talking about:

1. Review on the face wipes I bought.
2. Easter, and what I put in the cupcakes Easter basket as well as what I put in her friend's Frijolitos basket.
3. An outfit post on my first day on the job :-)
4. A how to pack and what to pack on a trip (my bag and the Cupcakes bag)
5. A easy peasy 10mins or less makeup look for everyday.
6. Review on month 1 of Insanity workout

And so far I think that is it. Now let's hope I actually write about the things I just listed ha! Have a good weekend everybody.

#33. Staying on track

I actually haven't worked out or followed my diet for the past week. I was sick so I needed rest and of course comfort food. Not the best thing but at least I'm back on track. I plan on lifting later so that is a plus. I actually enjoy my daily walks during my lunch break at work. It helps me relieve stress from my sucky job. The only thing I hate is the creepy people I encounter on these walks. I work in an industrial area so it mostly men I see. I should carry around pepper spray or something but I'm to cheap to buy some. Yay it's Thursday!

Struggling with my weight

I have been struggling with weight issues since like forever. No really, it really goes back to when I was really little. My parents nicknamed me 'Gorda'. That's pretty much fat in Spanish. It wasn't said in a mean way, it was like a cute nickname but obviously they gave me that name because I was indeed chubby. Anyways, when I was in High school I suffered from anorexia. Not a lot of people know that about me. They just thought I was hitting puberty and getting taller so I was "thinning out". I was actually starving myself. I lived on one bologna sandwich a day. That's pretty much it, oh and water. I did 200 crunches every night before bed, and I would run 1.5 miles every morning. I know not much but was enough to make me drop from a size 11 to size 5 in 2 months. I felt really crappy, I slept all the time and I had no energy. I also started turning yellow and had bad anemia. BUT DAMN I LOOKED GOOD! Yup that was my mentality. I stayed like this for about 3 years. I did start eating a little more but not to much and I increased  my sit ups to 400, and I now ran 2 miles. Well when I got out of high school I got a job at a fast food joint.

I gained about 15 pounds after high school. I didn't look bad or fat. I was a little chubby but I guess you could say I looked normal. Well I started partying, drinking, you name it. The pounds also started to come on. Before I got pregnant I was at 162 pounds. Yikes! My license says I weigh 130. Ha! I wish I was back at that weight. So I got pregnant and my weight at 9 months pregnant was 192. Well I gave birth and all the weight came off. I was at 162 again, but not for long. I started eating like crazy because I was nursing the cupcake and had the mentality that nursing meant eat like a lumberjack. I realized 20 extra pounds later that that was not the case. At 182 I knew I had to lose weight.

I joined a little competition like The biggest Loser. Whoever lost the most weight in percentages of course by a specific date would win the jackpot. Of course money would motivate me so I joined. The competition is over and well I didn't win the money but I did win me some motivation and will power. I have dropped about 17 pounds since I started and I am going to keep on truckin'. My goal weight is 140, it's not what my drivers license says but it will be a healthy weight for my height and age.

How I dropped those 17 pounds was with some clean eating and exercise. It took me about 3-4 months to lose that much. I could have lost more but it was around the holidays and I couldn't resist all the yummy food and the booze. It's now 2012 and I have made a promise to my daughter to get fit so that I can keep up with her. I want to live a long and healthy life, and at the rate I was going that was not going to happen. Don't get me wrong, this path is tough, I want to quit and eat cookies and cake and chips and all the other junk out there. But that little face that lights up my day each and every day reminds me that the chips and the soda are so no worth it. I don't have before and after pictures because it's not like it was a drastic weight loss, but I do plan to do before and after when I actually notice a difference in how I actually look. So an update should be coming up soon, I want to be at 155 pounds by the Cupcake's birthday I know I can do it.

Cheer me on!