It has set in.
I am petrified.
I mean, I want this.
I have wanted this.
Why am I freaking out right now?
I finally sent in my deposit for surgery. And I can't help but feel claustrophobic in this huge warehouse I call an office. I mean I was, am super excited for this but it just didn't feel real til the moment I gave Diane (consultant) my credit card information. But now, now it feels real. In about a month and a half I will look different. I will feel different. I will have what I have always wanted. So why this anxiety?
Dude!!!!
I guess it's because it's major surgery. I am altering my body. I am trusting another person to keep me safe and I mean who wouldn't be scared. I am not having doubts, I don't think. But you know my life is a little more complicated now. I have a daughter, a daughter whom i love more than life itself. My kid needs me as much as I need her. I'm not saying I am going to die, but dang you start thinking about all the worst case scenarios. At least I do. And then I have the...God made your body the way he intended it to be. You shouldn't alter it. But the Lord knows how much this means to me. I just pray he keeps me safe. Always.
Gosh guys, either time is going to drag or its going to fly....I'm hoping it drags honestly because I.am.scared.shitless.
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Consultation
I had scheduled my first consult with a plastic surgeon. I was super nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I had went online and googled what kind of questions you should ask the doctor and what not. I always like to be prepared.
That morning I was running late. I even parked like 2 blocks away from the facility because I clearly didn't see the parking lot right in front of the building. I walk in and it's super nice. The doctor I went to go visit is Dr. J from Beverly Hills Physicians. I fill out some paper work and go into the doctors office. The nice nurse? tells me to take off my shirt and bra and wear one of those paper vests with the open part to the front. Just doing that I was super self conscious. So I sat there waiting for the doctor to come in. Once he walked in, I fell in love ha! okay not really but I have to admit, he's pretty handsome. And now this man is going to look at my pathetic chest, just great. He introduced himself and asked me what I was in for. Once I told him why I was there and what I wanted we proceeded with the measurement of my chest or lack thereof. It was pretty fast.
We sat and talked about my options and what he would like to do. First, because of my height and the shape of my body he wanted me to go with a full C small D. He would insert them underneath the muscle to make them appear and feel more natural. He then asked if I would prefer silicone or saline. After the research I had done I decided I want to get silicone. Silicone gives a more natural appearance and feel. He totally agreed. He then told me that he would make the incision at the nipple and insert them through there. Now he got into something else I wasn't really expecting. He said I would need a lift on my left breast. He had me face the mirror and showed me that my left breast was a lot more droopy than my right and if we don't do the lift my breast would not be even, one would be a lot lower than the other. I had actually not really noticed that one was sitting a little lower than the other, then again I don't sit there staring at my breasts in the mirror. But once he pointed it out now I can see it and can tell when I look at the girls. So I asked a few more questions about recovery, the surgery center, how long I will be in pain, when can I carry my daughter, etc.
When he stepped out. I had this feeling like this is the doctor I want. I felt super comfortable talking to him. He answered all my questions without making me feel like I was an interrogator. He was simply awesome. I then had to head over to the next office to talk pricing. So because I am also getting a lift a long with the implants the cost of my surgery is a little high but not too bad. The total is going to be $8,000. It includes the procedure, the blood work, all the follow up visits and the surgical bra that i have to wear for about 6 weeks. Honestly, I am okay with that number. Before I went in though I had told the Bubba that I didn't want to spend more than $7g's but I am also getting lift for another thousand its how I see it. And did I mention I love the doctor.
I googled plenty other doctors and I also have a friend who works with a plastic surgeon who is willing to give me implants for $4,000 but he isn't board certified and isn't really affiliated with any hospitals. Dr. J is affiliated with Huntington Memorial in Pasadena, Cedar-Sinai Los Angeles and St John's Medical Center in Santa Monica. He is also double board certified. He is definitely qualified, at least more qualified than the doctors I was going to go see also. My gut tells me to see him and go to him so I am going to do just that.
I found my doctor I now just have to set up my appointment. I have to work around my busy work schedule because well I'm going to need the time to recoup. I need about 5 days to do just that so I am planning to go in on a Wednesday so I can come back to work on Monday.
Gosh I am super excited guys. I am nervous too don't get me wrong but super duper excited for sure. I will calling to schedule my appointment this week. You guys should be seeing a much happier me soon.
That morning I was running late. I even parked like 2 blocks away from the facility because I clearly didn't see the parking lot right in front of the building. I walk in and it's super nice. The doctor I went to go visit is Dr. J from Beverly Hills Physicians. I fill out some paper work and go into the doctors office. The nice nurse? tells me to take off my shirt and bra and wear one of those paper vests with the open part to the front. Just doing that I was super self conscious. So I sat there waiting for the doctor to come in. Once he walked in, I fell in love ha! okay not really but I have to admit, he's pretty handsome. And now this man is going to look at my pathetic chest, just great. He introduced himself and asked me what I was in for. Once I told him why I was there and what I wanted we proceeded with the measurement of my chest or lack thereof. It was pretty fast.
We sat and talked about my options and what he would like to do. First, because of my height and the shape of my body he wanted me to go with a full C small D. He would insert them underneath the muscle to make them appear and feel more natural. He then asked if I would prefer silicone or saline. After the research I had done I decided I want to get silicone. Silicone gives a more natural appearance and feel. He totally agreed. He then told me that he would make the incision at the nipple and insert them through there. Now he got into something else I wasn't really expecting. He said I would need a lift on my left breast. He had me face the mirror and showed me that my left breast was a lot more droopy than my right and if we don't do the lift my breast would not be even, one would be a lot lower than the other. I had actually not really noticed that one was sitting a little lower than the other, then again I don't sit there staring at my breasts in the mirror. But once he pointed it out now I can see it and can tell when I look at the girls. So I asked a few more questions about recovery, the surgery center, how long I will be in pain, when can I carry my daughter, etc.
When he stepped out. I had this feeling like this is the doctor I want. I felt super comfortable talking to him. He answered all my questions without making me feel like I was an interrogator. He was simply awesome. I then had to head over to the next office to talk pricing. So because I am also getting a lift a long with the implants the cost of my surgery is a little high but not too bad. The total is going to be $8,000. It includes the procedure, the blood work, all the follow up visits and the surgical bra that i have to wear for about 6 weeks. Honestly, I am okay with that number. Before I went in though I had told the Bubba that I didn't want to spend more than $7g's but I am also getting lift for another thousand its how I see it. And did I mention I love the doctor.
I googled plenty other doctors and I also have a friend who works with a plastic surgeon who is willing to give me implants for $4,000 but he isn't board certified and isn't really affiliated with any hospitals. Dr. J is affiliated with Huntington Memorial in Pasadena, Cedar-Sinai Los Angeles and St John's Medical Center in Santa Monica. He is also double board certified. He is definitely qualified, at least more qualified than the doctors I was going to go see also. My gut tells me to see him and go to him so I am going to do just that.
I found my doctor I now just have to set up my appointment. I have to work around my busy work schedule because well I'm going to need the time to recoup. I need about 5 days to do just that so I am planning to go in on a Wednesday so I can come back to work on Monday.
Gosh I am super excited guys. I am nervous too don't get me wrong but super duper excited for sure. I will calling to schedule my appointment this week. You guys should be seeing a much happier me soon.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Boobies!!!
Now just say that title with an immature tune. Yup, that's how I always say boobies. So now that I got that out of the way, let's talk about boobies.
Boobs, boobs, boobs, how I love boobs. I think I shared that with you guys before in my lists of random things to know about me. I have always been a fan of the breasts but I myself never really had big or even normal sized boobs. Normal. Yes I say normal because the average woman is walking around at least sporting a large B cup or small C cup. Me. Not me. I have always been on the barely B cup myself. I never have ever shared that bit of information with anyone. It's embarrassing talking about how big or shall I say in my case small my breast are. Want to know something funny? For years in a row, I prayed and wished on many stars for my boobs to grow. Every new year I would say that this is the year my boobs would grow bigger. Never happened. What's all the fuss with me and having knockers? Well I grew up around friends and family with large breasts. I always felt inferior. Less pretty, less like a woman because I couldn't fill a bra cup. It's actually pretty mortifying talking about this but the cats out of the bag now.
Okay. So yea. I grew up feeling a little self conscience. I always had to buy padded bras or push up bras so that it looked like I had "something" there. With guys (past boyfriends), I never really let them touch my chest (come on every teenage boy wants to grab on their girlfriends boobs) because I didn't want them to be disappointed or figure out that I was flat chested and tell all the boys in school. So I was a good girl not by choice ha! Anyways, as I got older and chubbier my cup size grew a tad bit but not a lot. I was still relying on heavy duty padded bras to give the appearance that I had a chest. After giving birth to the cupcake and breast feeding for 7 months my size has definitely decreased. My boobs are now seriously old lady boobs. Ever heard the reference to tennis balls and tube socks? Yup. That's kind of what I am dealing with right now. Dude! I am only 25 freaking years old. I have my whole life ahead of me and once again I am left self conscious about my chest size.
So I have been working my butt off to do what any girl in my shoes would do. I am getting breast augmentation. And before you decide to judge me and say I am super vain and being superficial and I should be happy with what God graced me with and yadda yadda. Please understand that I am not just doing it to boost my self confidence, I am doing it for me just because I deserve to do something for myself for once. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. Not that I don't, but I would like to once buy a regular bra and not one that is padded. I want to wear certain garments and feel great in them. I want to be able to wear a seat belt and not see where my padded bra start and where my boobs stop. Yes seat belts cut right in between my chest so you can tell that my bra is probably too big for me. Now, I'm not going to get some overly large breast size, believe me I don't want that. I just want something that would look normal on my body, something that goes with me.
So I will be documenting my journey to a fuller lol me. My goal is to get the procedure done by the end of October. My plan is to go no bigger than a full C cup. My plan is to not have to make payments and pay it outright. So yea. I look forward to sharing with you what I go through for reaching my new body. Might convince some to take the plunge and get a new rack of their own.
Yay for boobies! Boobies for everyone!!!
Happy Monday!
Boobs, boobs, boobs, how I love boobs. I think I shared that with you guys before in my lists of random things to know about me. I have always been a fan of the breasts but I myself never really had big or even normal sized boobs. Normal. Yes I say normal because the average woman is walking around at least sporting a large B cup or small C cup. Me. Not me. I have always been on the barely B cup myself. I never have ever shared that bit of information with anyone. It's embarrassing talking about how big or shall I say in my case small my breast are. Want to know something funny? For years in a row, I prayed and wished on many stars for my boobs to grow. Every new year I would say that this is the year my boobs would grow bigger. Never happened. What's all the fuss with me and having knockers? Well I grew up around friends and family with large breasts. I always felt inferior. Less pretty, less like a woman because I couldn't fill a bra cup. It's actually pretty mortifying talking about this but the cats out of the bag now.
Okay. So yea. I grew up feeling a little self conscience. I always had to buy padded bras or push up bras so that it looked like I had "something" there. With guys (past boyfriends), I never really let them touch my chest (come on every teenage boy wants to grab on their girlfriends boobs) because I didn't want them to be disappointed or figure out that I was flat chested and tell all the boys in school. So I was a good girl not by choice ha! Anyways, as I got older and chubbier my cup size grew a tad bit but not a lot. I was still relying on heavy duty padded bras to give the appearance that I had a chest. After giving birth to the cupcake and breast feeding for 7 months my size has definitely decreased. My boobs are now seriously old lady boobs. Ever heard the reference to tennis balls and tube socks? Yup. That's kind of what I am dealing with right now. Dude! I am only 25 freaking years old. I have my whole life ahead of me and once again I am left self conscious about my chest size.
So I have been working my butt off to do what any girl in my shoes would do. I am getting breast augmentation. And before you decide to judge me and say I am super vain and being superficial and I should be happy with what God graced me with and yadda yadda. Please understand that I am not just doing it to boost my self confidence, I am doing it for me just because I deserve to do something for myself for once. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. Not that I don't, but I would like to once buy a regular bra and not one that is padded. I want to wear certain garments and feel great in them. I want to be able to wear a seat belt and not see where my padded bra start and where my boobs stop. Yes seat belts cut right in between my chest so you can tell that my bra is probably too big for me. Now, I'm not going to get some overly large breast size, believe me I don't want that. I just want something that would look normal on my body, something that goes with me.
So I will be documenting my journey to a fuller lol me. My goal is to get the procedure done by the end of October. My plan is to go no bigger than a full C cup. My plan is to not have to make payments and pay it outright. So yea. I look forward to sharing with you what I go through for reaching my new body. Might convince some to take the plunge and get a new rack of their own.
Yay for boobies! Boobies for everyone!!!
Happy Monday!
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