Long Overdue

This will be the last time I post from my work computer because today, today is my last day here. I couldn't be happier. I have worked here for a little over 5 years and this place has seriously made me fat and sucked the life out of me. I wouldn't complain because it's a job and I  needed one but now that I have a way better paying job and I am happy working there it was time I let go of this place.

I will no longer have 2 jobs, I will now have one. But I will have the job of watching the Cupcake during the day while I am a nurse during the night. I wouldn't have it any other way. Things are totally going in the right direction and I have to say that I am truly blessed. The Lord has definitely had my back and continues to shine his light on me and my little family.

I may be closing another chapter in this book I call life, but I am so looking forward to what is up next.

Oh and just so you know, I keep contemplating peeling out of the drive way here at work after I clock off for the last time throwing my middle finger in the air while I shout out So long bitches!!!

Happy Halloween!

This is really happening

I told myself in the begininng of the year that this would be the last year I worked at my day job. It is not because I loathe my bosses, it is because I still make what I make when I first got hired 5 years ago. It is because even though there is no money to pay me vacation time, holiday pay, sick pay or give me a raise my boss still manages to drive the latest and greatest Mercedes vehicle. Oh and his wife has a machine car too.

Besides I can't move up in this company. I'm pretty much stuck in this position forever if I stay here. Even though I love getting payed to sit on my ass and blog all day long or read up on all the latest celebrity gossip, it is my time to go. The end of October is my last day here. I am saddened yet super excited.

I finally get to spend more time with my growing toddler. Which today marks her 18 month birthday. Gosh in 6 months she will be 2 freakin years old!!!!! I feel like because of this morning job which I did need, I missed out on a lot of the Cupcakes life. 9 hours of her day where spent with someone who wasn't me. I hated that when I first left her but as time went on I started being okay with it because I had to. We need mommy to work so we can buy all the things we need.

Now I will still be working my nursing job at night, and probably working more often there now, but that's okay because I will be able to spend more time with my daughter.

All I know right now is that, the last day here will be like a breath of fresh air.

Another moment.

This weekend was just terrible, awful, you name it. I am a night shift nurse at a psychiatric facility as you all know, and I love my job believe it or not. And like everyone else, I try my hardest to leave work, well at work. But this weekend was different. This weekend every night I worked was plain awful. The patients, needy, aggressive and very psychotic. It was so chaotic that I made an error. I know we aren't machines and that we make mistakes but in my field, there isn't room for mistake. You have to be precise with everything you do because it is like they say, life and death.

I am very lucky that nothing serious happened but the fact that I made a mistake and I am going to hear about it in the coming week, well, I am super nervous ans scared. I love my job and like everyone else, I need my job. So here is hoping for the best. But my awful weekend doesn't end there.

You know, I always said I wouldn't be that mom that lets the t.v. become my kids babysitter. I always said I wouldn't feed my kid a load of junk food. Guess what....I have become that mother. I AM A FAILURE. Or at least I feel like one. I feel like I have let my daughter down. Instead of doing what is best for her, I have done what is best for me, what works for me, what is convenient for me. That is not being a good parent. When I came to realization of this, this weekend I couldn't help but break down and cry. I have failed my daughter. I let her watch countless hours of nemo and rio because that's what she has gotten use to. I let her eat chocolate and ice cream and has not had a bite of vegetables because I know she wont eat them anyway. I have taught her bad habits and I feel terrible about that. I sat and cried for what seemed like hours. I was really having a bad weekend.

But it ends today. I have to remember that work is work and it isn't always going to go as plan. I work with unpredictable patients and I have to just roll with the punches. I have to remember to slow down and make sure that I am always on point with my work no matter what the situation is. And with the issues concerning My daughter, well, she will be allowed an hour max of tv during the day and that is it. While I am home with her we will focus on playing, drawing, painting, anything, as long as she is using her hands and brain. No more chicken nuggets and nutella sandwiches because she refuses to eat a nutritious meal. I am now going to meal plan each week and make good healthy food for the both of us to eat and if she doesn't like what I have to offer...too bad. She will learn to like the foods that are good for her. No more letting her be the parent. So I have to brush myself off and continue trucking because this is life. I am not perfect, I know I love my kid and I will do what is best for her and even though I wasn't doing just that for a while I am back to doing so.

Keep calm and carry on.

Life lately

I have been in a blogging funk again. Nothing interesting has really been going on. I feel like I am working more which making more tired. But the truth is I have been working the same. Cupcake had a fever Monday and has a stuffy nose so her sleeping at night hasn't been great. Other than that, it's Father's day this Sunday and I am going to BBQ for the Bubba and we are going to get his tattoo next week. I work all weekend so I will be a zombie all.weekend.

This is life lately....

The Cupcake was getting a back massage from Faby. She was enjoying it. It was the first time in a long time I have seen my kid stay still for more than 5 minutes.

I totally look like one of those trendy kids. Ha! I went to Gay Pride with my gay friends on Sunday. I really went to go see Ivy Queen perform. Unfortunately one the attendees there ruined it for us. A fight may have happened because of him. But other than that it was so much fun. I had my first drink in a long time and I did not feel hungover the next day. Go me!

Hanging out outside, taking in some sun.

She was totally dogging people at Sam's club. Then again that's the looks she gives after she wakes up from her naps.

Breakfast after an 8hour shift going on 16 hours of work that day. Ay caramba

She fell asleep on the way to the store. I didn't want to wait it out in the car because I was low on gas and was not about to waste it on leaving the car on with the a/c. So I carried her all through the store while pushing a cart. It was a workout.

This girl right here, Faby is seriously my soul mate. You know how Christina Yang and Meredith Gray (Grey's Anatomy) are always saying they are soul mates, they are their person...well this is my person, Sorry Bubba. We fight constantly and make up constantly. Our friendship is bittersweet. This is the one person I can always without a doubt count on to be there, and it's a plus that my kid loves her too. No matter where our lives take us I will always be there for her. Even if she does hate me at that moment. The down part, Bubba and her can't stand the sight of each other. I find a way to  make it work though. I truly hope that one day she finds happiness with someone as equally amazing as her.

She was up to no good. How she got on top of the box, I have no idea.

After my 16 hour shift. I was completely exhausted but manage to smile and keep with this kid. She is my whole life and I love her to pieces. Cupcake I want you to know I do everything, all the working, sacrificing for you babe. So that you have everything you can possibly need. I will do anything and everything to always put a smile on that little face. Quien the quiere corazon de melon? Tu mami!